The Bastard's Lovely Daughter

This is an old folk song I wrote in 1987, when I was a big fan of the Fast Folk Musical Magazine and their monthly shows at the Bottom Line, the Speakeasy and other defunct NYC venues.

The lyrics could stand a little updating, but it is a political - kinda - song! When I wrote it, I was thinking of ballads of beautiful daughters of thieves and robbers, just updated for their contemporary counterpart. And there's not a little of "Love Me,
Love Me, Love Me, I'm a Liberal" in there too.

Disclaimer portion: It's also not at all a song about close relative of mine who was briefly married to a famous (liberal) politician's daughter.


Verse:

It's six o'clock and at the factory gate
A man is smiling, shaking hands with the assembly line.
Here's the TV crew from channel Eight,
He'll help the factory close next month but now he's looking fine.

Have you heard the promises before?
Have you read the things he voted for?
We elected him, he's ours. Drives around in chauffered cars.
In exclusive Capitol bars, he's quite a bore.

But Oh that bastard has a lovely daughter,
The sweetest woman ever came to Washington D.C.
A cultured tongue, a mannered hand, a well-kept figure
Think she'd ever come to love a liberal like me?

Verse 2:

In fifty-two he found a commie plot
By schoolteachers and actors and some guys who owed him cash,
He thinks about those vivid times a lot,
When single-handed he could yank on Stalin's big moustache.

Have you heard the promises before?
Have you read the things he voted for?
He'll take take cash from any hand, can be bought for seven grand,
Treads on honor as on sand, sells out the poor -

But Oh that bastard has a lovely daughter,
The sweetest woman ever came to Washington D.C.
A cultured tongue, a mannered hand, a well-kept figure
Think she'd ever come to love a liberal like me?

Verse 3:

He's toasted by the racists and the mobs,
For writing them amendments which he puts in every bill.
He's given all his relatives their jobs,
And everyone he knows has got their hands deep in the till.

Have you heard the promises before?
Have you read the things he voted for?
He had bugged a circuit judge, On abortion he won't budge,
Cleaning up the toxic sludge Is not his chore...

But Oh that bastard has a lovely daughter,
The sweetest woman ever came to Washington D.C.
A cultured tongue, a mannered hand, a well-kept figure
Think she'd ever come to love a liberal like me?

Verse 4:

I hope she isn't much like her old man,
I've seen her talk to blacks and give some quarters to a bum,
I saw her protest weapons to Iran.
I know she cheers the Skins whenever football season comes.

She hates "Dynasty" and MTV
Shops with coupons at the A&P
Though my income she won't need, She did not inherit greed,
When her dad has gone to seed She'll marry me.

And Oh that bastard has a lovely daughter,
The sweetest woman ever came to Washington D.C.
A cultured tongue, a mannered hand, a well-kept figure
Think she'd ever come to love a liberal like me?



// new verse 4 needed? after all, who knows what I'm talking about there!

Verse 4:

She's never shown an interest in me
Although gives to Greenpeace and protests the NRA
She's virtuous and also quite PC -
I saw her march with lesbians on last St. Patrick's Day!

She recycles plastic, glass and cans
Never air conditions, only fans.
Though she's living off her trust, It don't mean that she's unjust,
When her dad has gone to dust I'll be her man!

And Oh that bastard has a lovely daughter,
The sweetest woman ever came to Washington D.C.
A cultured tongue, a mannered hand, a well-kept figure
Think she'd ever come to love a liberal like me?

Questions I posted for the Candidates on Bill Moyers' site

There are six major related crises impending and in progress right now:

- climactic instability
More intense weather in places not expected, drought, melting polar ice, rain instead of snowpacks...etc.
- the end of cheap oil
basically, the end of the 20th century version of civilization.
- air, soil water degradation
brought on by non sustainable farming practices and externalization of industrial waste responsibility.
- financial turmoil
brought on by the replacement of investment by speculation.
- population explosion
brought on by people themselves and the means to sustain them.
- lack of political will to address these issues
Oh, so many elephants in the room.

As president, you actually have little real power to address these issues - but you should use the "bully pulpit" to educate the world on these issues and work out whatever legislation and treaties and inspire action. These crises are international in scope - much work needs to be done removing international barriers to addressing these problems, and the president acts as our chief representative in the world.

The pointless war being fought today will pale like a schoolyard tiff in the face of these global crises.

How will you address these crises and what advisors will you bring to help you?

----
I like many others here hope that all the candidates will be asked this question.

From Time Warner to Me (1993)

Here's a small book of poetry sent to me from Time
Warner Cable.
I have corrected the typography to correspond to contemporary poetic
layout standards. No punctuation has been changed.
— J.H.H.L.

  In a city
    of a thousand stories,
        cable TV has
           time to tell them all.

      CNN - Thought Provoking and Analytical.
10:45 pm.

   Barbara
   was helping Jerry
   pack for his business trip
   to Chicago.
     It was his fifth trip this year.
   Even after 25 years of marriage
    they still fought right before
     he went away.
   This way
    they didn't have to admit how much
     they hated being alone.
   They stopped fighting
   and listened to the news report
   about Bosnia.

      THE CARTOON NETWORK - Home to the Top Toon Stars.
3:51 pm.

   Grandma
   was watching
   Michael and Denise.
        After Michael wrote
         on Denise's homework with a red crayon
           he acted silly
     just like that dog on TV.
       They all laughed.
       They loved Droopy.


    HEADLINE NEWS - A Whole Day's News Every Half Hour.
9:32 am.

               Like usual
  the alarm didn't go off.
  Allison
                   jumped in the shower then
     threw on her blue suit.
  She didn't care if anyone
   noticed       the      wrinkles.
    She checked
    the ticker.
    She checked
    her watch.
    She'd be right
    on time.
   TNT - Originals, Sports and the greatest Movies Hollywood ever Made.
9:22pm.

   Tom and Michelle sat on the couch
   eating    beef and broccoli
     with chopsticks.
   They've been living together for two years. She's
         a lawyer. He's
         a social worker. They both
         had a terrible day and
           needed
             to
               escape.
         She       wants
                  to reminisce.         He
                  wants a score.


    T B S - A  Great Place for entertainment.
4:12 pm.

   Scott was practicing
      his swing with a 9
        iron in his living
          room.
   When he was a
     kid the things he loved
      to do were
                 go golfing with his Dad,
            watch a James Bond movie and
     look at the pictures in National Geographic.
         He          still        does.


At any given
   moment in your
    life, cable TV
      can
       make an impact.

Cyberspace Cowboy

The kernal's full of patches and the protocols are slow
So I just hit the hardware and it doesn't even know.
As long as software's written by a team of lamer nerds
The hardware will respond to you if you just know the words.

As I strapped on my eyephones and I pasted on my 'trodes,
I drifted into alpha as I  hacked away the codes.
I slipped inside the mainframe where the passwords all were blank,
And rustled 15 million from  the Central Euro Bank.

My dataglove was flaky and  my eyephones out of phase
The jitter in the timing pulse  extended the delays.
My duty cycle lengthened and  I felt the coming crash,
I loaded up some structures from  the swapped-out data cache.

When all at once the Supervisor signals and events -
The Cyber interface police has found my evidence!
I squeezed the glove and clicked the mouse and tried to use the Force,
But they had cracked my virus with a hairy Trojan Horse.

I couldn't interrupt them or defer their tasks from me
Or re-assign their swapspace to a low priority
So I just took their task ID's and put them in a queue
And vectored them to address NIL and hung the CPU.

I flatlined by the access port to watch for their reboot.
I plucked the 'trodes and cables off and threw them in the chute.
The FBI came knockin' with a warrant three feet long -
But all they got was "Space Wars" and a moldy game of "Pong"!

(circa 1988)