Saturday, March 01, 2008

Cyberspace Cowboy

The kernal's full of patches and the protocols are slow
So I just hit the hardware and it doesn't even know.
As long as software's written by a team of lamer nerds
The hardware will respond to you if you just know the words.

As I strapped on my eyephones and I pasted on my 'trodes,
I drifted into alpha as I  hacked away the codes.
I slipped inside the mainframe where the passwords all were blank,
And rustled 15 million from  the Central Euro Bank.

My dataglove was flaky and  my eyephones out of phase
The jitter in the timing pulse  extended the delays.
My duty cycle lengthened and  I felt the coming crash,
I loaded up some structures from  the swapped-out data cache.

When all at once the Supervisor signals and events -
The Cyber interface police has found my evidence!
I squeezed the glove and clicked the mouse and tried to use the Force,
But they had cracked my virus with a hairy Trojan Horse.

I couldn't interrupt them or defer their tasks from me
Or re-assign their swapspace to a low priority
So I just took their task ID's and put them in a queue
And vectored them to address NIL and hung the CPU.

I flatlined by the access port to watch for their reboot.
I plucked the 'trodes and cables off and threw them in the chute.
The FBI came knockin' with a warrant three feet long -
But all they got was "Space Wars" and a moldy game of "Pong"!

(circa 1988)