Bears have trouble with straws.

 Bears have trouble with straws. 

 Hares have trouble with bras.

 Snares have trouble with draws.

 Chairs have trouble with claws.

 Lairs have trouble with flaws.

 Mayor's have trouble with saws.

 Fairs have trouble with Awes.
 Tears have trouble with jaws.
 Cares have trouble with laws.
 Pears have trouble with paws.

 Hairs have trouble with drawers.

 Wares have trouble with craws.

 Queers have trouble with cause.
 Heirs is have trouble with gnaws.
 Flares have trouble with yaws.
 Dares have trouble with pause.

Reassign the subjects and objects of these phrases, so they make more sense. You have 10 minutes and this will count for ten percent of the test.

Alphabetical Sentence

Found among things, probably from 1994 or so:

After
Being
Carried
Down
Eight
Flights,
Groggy,
Hair
In
Jumble,
Katherine
Looked
Menacingly
Near
Our
Poodle,
Quietly
Retreating,
Seeing
Things
Undone,
Very
Well -
Xerox
Your
Zodiac!

Parable poem (1977?)

On the great side
There are some who, like the cat
who triumphantly scaled a tree
have not the courage to descend.

From Time Warner to Me (1993)

Here's a small book of poetry sent to me from Time
Warner Cable.
I have corrected the typography to correspond to contemporary poetic
layout standards. No punctuation has been changed.
— J.H.H.L.

  In a city
    of a thousand stories,
        cable TV has
           time to tell them all.

      CNN - Thought Provoking and Analytical.
10:45 pm.

   Barbara
   was helping Jerry
   pack for his business trip
   to Chicago.
     It was his fifth trip this year.
   Even after 25 years of marriage
    they still fought right before
     he went away.
   This way
    they didn't have to admit how much
     they hated being alone.
   They stopped fighting
   and listened to the news report
   about Bosnia.

      THE CARTOON NETWORK - Home to the Top Toon Stars.
3:51 pm.

   Grandma
   was watching
   Michael and Denise.
        After Michael wrote
         on Denise's homework with a red crayon
           he acted silly
     just like that dog on TV.
       They all laughed.
       They loved Droopy.


    HEADLINE NEWS - A Whole Day's News Every Half Hour.
9:32 am.

               Like usual
  the alarm didn't go off.
  Allison
                   jumped in the shower then
     threw on her blue suit.
  She didn't care if anyone
   noticed       the      wrinkles.
    She checked
    the ticker.
    She checked
    her watch.
    She'd be right
    on time.
   TNT - Originals, Sports and the greatest Movies Hollywood ever Made.
9:22pm.

   Tom and Michelle sat on the couch
   eating    beef and broccoli
     with chopsticks.
   They've been living together for two years. She's
         a lawyer. He's
         a social worker. They both
         had a terrible day and
           needed
             to
               escape.
         She       wants
                  to reminisce.         He
                  wants a score.


    T B S - A  Great Place for entertainment.
4:12 pm.

   Scott was practicing
      his swing with a 9
        iron in his living
          room.
   When he was a
     kid the things he loved
      to do were
                 go golfing with his Dad,
            watch a James Bond movie and
     look at the pictures in National Geographic.
         He          still        does.


At any given
   moment in your
    life, cable TV
      can
       make an impact.

SLOW FOOD Nov 12, 2004

A soupçon of soup's on the stoop, son.
If I am whistling, it's because I'm about to boil over.
I'm ready.

Waiting for eating's,
not grating, defeating,
we're hating the speeding,
berating the seating.

You are what you eat.
Be slower ... eat slower.

Where is my order? And what is my order anyway? Primate?

If that tomato has no living relatives,
I don't expect to find it by the smell it gives.

Let's relate.
Let's talk a lot about what we ate.

cannoli, carciofi, cannelini,
panucci, prosciutto, panini,
lasagna, legumi, linguini,
zabaione, zuccotto, zucchini.

Maitre d'! How I hate your tea!

Over 30 Billion Served .. slowly.

A l p h a b e t i c a l

Abandon abbreviated abdomens! Abduct aberrant Abigail! Able Abner
abnormally abolished abominable aborigine. Abort abovementioned
abrasive, absentminded, absurd, abusive academician! Acapulco
accelerated accessible acolade, accompanist accosted. Accra accrued
accuracy, accused acetic Achilles' acidic acorn. Acquaintance acquired
aquittal. Acrobat, across acrylic actress, acts adamant. Adam added
additional address. Adieu, Adkins, administer admiralty! Admonish
adolescent Adolph. Adopt adreneline, Adrienne! Adroit adult advises aerobics.
Aesthetic affairs affect affirmations. Afghan's aflame. Aforementioned
aftermath: afternoon afterthought afterward again. Agatha's agenda
aggravates agressor. Agribuisiness, Ahoy! Airline Airman's alabaster
albatross - albeit alcoholic - alienated Allah. Allied alligators
allocated allspice. Alongside aloof Alpert,

A L P H A B E T I C A L

alphanumeric Alsatian , also
alternate alto altogether. Am amateurish, amatory, amazed, Ambassador.
Amelia ameliorates American amethyst amidst ammunition. Amoebas,
amphetamines, amphibians, amplifiers, amputees, amulets, an anaconda,
analysts, anarchic ancestors, anchors and Andean anirons animate
Annapolis. Anneal, annihilate, annotate, announce, annoy annual anomolies.
Anorexia - another answer. Antarctican anthology anticipates antipodean
antique antlers. Anyone - anyplace - anything, anyway, Aphrodite's
apology appals apparent appearance. Apple applicant applies appropriate
appoval. April: Arabic arachnids arbitrate aboreal arcades. Archaic
archbishops are areas, aren't arenas. Argentinian argot: aristocratic arse!
Artichoke article's arty as asbestos. Asexual Ashley's ashore! Askew
asparagus assails assassin. Arsonist associate astounds astronomer.
Astrophysicist at Atlanta ate athletic, atomic attache. Attica attire
attracts atypical audience. Audiotape augments august aunt Aurora.
Australian autobiography avenged average aviatrix. Avocado awakes!
Awesome! Awful axolotl ayes Aztec azure.
--- Nov 5, 1995

Acit Cràt Na

Antarctica's Monologue

My back is curved, the days and nights flicker on my covering of ice.
the winds blast across my dry skin down to the sea.
Are there others like me?
As I sleep, I feel the rhythm on my covers move with my breathing.
Life at my scale is grander than the lives of my parasites, but yet I wonder.
Are there others like me?
The ice calves, the winds circulate.
I have been bent by my ice coat, the glaciers flood down my spine.
Can I recall a time when I was not broken, not burdened?
White, and cold because of it.
Auroras wash and tickle my center.
At my edges, many trails bend the rocks and curve them.
How do I call from the bottom of the earth?
And who will hear?

Is the ice causing my life or deadening it?
So much subtlety is missing - so essential is my life - I can do without food,
I can do without air.
Yet, there is the spinning of the globe, the precession of the axes.
My day and night - so very extreme - causing my breath, but am I breathed?
Separation.
I was separated.
I tore off the other continents and floated south.
the river on my back became a sea; the whiter I got, the whiter I became,
and as I hug the bottom of the earth, whiter shall I become.
- - - - - - -
This is related to the Acit Cràt Na project.

The Light Of The Moon

When the moon rises, it clings to the horizon for a few minutes, the horizontal clouds glowing with a pregnant light, giving off cold rays, blue, white, rouge, and the shape of the moon, like the yolk of a just-cracked egg, bleeds out beyond those clouds, slowly coming together as it rises, becoming more circular, and, if a day or two beyond fullness, a tiny chip off the corner may be visible, a chip which causes you to doubt its roundness, its simplicity, and replaces the childlike circle with a more complicated and real planet - a planet that exists not by itself, but in a community of planets, each receiving light, each casting shadow, light that may never reach another planet's surface, though it may travel for more years than the earth has existed, and shadow, complementing the light, which, ironically, does tend to disappear as long as the diameter of the casting object is less than the light source, for the annulus of a perfect eclipse grows with the distance from the light source until the obscuring object is subsumed in the penumbra of the light emanating source, which could be a star, a glowing gas cloud, a comet, an exploding or imploding mass, or cold light, invisible to human eyes but not to our sensitive electronic senses - shadows of all different sizes cast not only by the Earth, the Moon itself, countless rocks and ice clouds and the mountains of the moon themselves, their shadows lengthening in a month-long cycle, and so more slowly lengthening, but, as the crags reach high of the flat maria, the shadows stand distinctly defined in the airless world, blurred only by our remoteness and our atmosphere, and the craters like frozen circular waves of water, with a peak in the center, intersect each other, which we can see, so many miles distant, as patterns of rings, not nice, evenly shaped patterns, but splattered patterns such as one sees in the first few minutes of rain on a sidewalk or a birdbath, the craters, which , if measured precisely, tell of basoliths below the surface of the moon, remnants of the original meteors which struck the still liquid mass, absorbed in the crust, but not deeply, rather, they too, flowing into the crust in the way the moon itself will flow into the horizon after it completes its transit, first caressing the edge of light with its limbs, bending in the refractive air and spreading again behind the clouds of dawn, one body retiring and ceding its reign in an orderly fashion, to the other, which itself is the sole source of the inert sphere's luminosity, pale, a gray that seems blue, visible on a cold night, where you can read about the color of the moon by its very light, in a line that goes from the center of the sun, past the earth, to the moon, through the atmosphere and down to the page, where the ray makes its way to your eye, sensitive to such subtle light and deducing the similarly subtle shadow.

Blankly

Widowed as a teen, then newly pregnant,
Due to a hurricane that crushed her uncle's car
and her new husband, who was underneath the fender.
Holding the jack, he'd tried to fix the tire.

And later, Minna, stunned and wrapped in blankets
the room sound blurred in the high school's gymnasium,
swore at the gods who still howled at the clapboards.

"I'll name him after Dan. He'll reincarnate."
But when the time came, she had borne a girl.
And not an easy birth by any measure.
A breech birth, with the cord wrapped round her neck.
Daniela she was called. She's a survivor.

All three of Minna's sisters had their own,
but her big brother came to town to help.

All through that autumn, winter, spring
She tried to find a life with her new baby,
who cried and kicked when Minna tried to sleep.
Breast feeding didn't work for her, and so
she needed formula, and wouldn't take it cold.
Minna spent hours loading and unloading
the diapers and the bibs. All food was ground
when she at last took solids. Cauliflower,
And cream of wheat were mostly what she ate,
and both of them were tasteless foods to Minna.

She wondered if she really was her child,
although she had to be. She sometimes doubted
if in that horrid night she had been swapped
and she was wandering somewhere by the stream,
while this ghost woman had her changeling child.

Daniela liked to pull things off the shelf.
She learned to walk by following the cat.
She didn't mind if all her toys were broken.
She grew to look for love, so hard to find
in her own mother. But she grew to love
the garden. Plants and vegetables grew
with her and she would play or watch the ants
while underneath the bean vines where the leaves
and fragrant blossoms summoned bees and flies.
And she would sleep there underneath them, tanned
and played out while her mother weeded.

When she was two, she was a ruddy girl.
She talked and asked her mother endless queries.
Once, when she had a fever, she cried out
"I see my daddy! See him?" Minna looked.
And putting down her head, near Daniela's,
A streak of light reflected in the window.